The Blended Family. In the past, I WAS THE ONE WITH THE KIDS. The people I was dating had to fit into OUR mold. Now I find myself the one ‘without’ kids trying to live inside another mold. Someone else’s mold. So I’ve let the tail wag the dog a little bit here as I try and find my place with Michael and HIS kids, where I fit in, where my place as an adult person in their lives really lies.
I still am a human who lives in this apartment. I donned armor and a sword this weekend and THAT wagging the dog thing is all done. After a trip to the grocery store and ten minutes in the car alone with three fighting kids, I have changed the way we will be living together on the weekends. The ONSLAUGHT of the Children of the Corn ends. No more Miss Nice Weekend Fun Mom.
This budget thingy has got us staying home much more. I’ve learned that our spending was just part of a big distraction to some of the things we need to focus on. And that thing is the chaos of three young kids. Yes they are going through a divorce, but it is an amicable one. They have a home and love. It’s time they also have manners and discipline. We were not put on this earth to entertain and serve three kids like they are Kings and Queens, waiting on them hand and foot because they are ‘getting divorced.’ It is not serving them well.
They will now learn to eat while sitting down the entire time. To use silverware. Have table manners. Clear their dishes. Clean up, participate in the preparation of the food. TO EAT A PEACEFUL MEAL. It will be like Annie Sullivan training Helen Keller. But I’ve got my sword now. And some markers. ‘THE RULES’ have been posted. The gauntlet will drop. THIS IS WAR.
One must strategize. The kids have worked out how to beat us down. The Phoenix Rises. Divorced parents are tired and shameful and living in the cloud of shit that divorce brings. I am NOT in this cloud. I want my life back.
There has to be consequences for rules not being followed. Which means US suffering sometimes. They don’t have separate rooms, we have one tv, but where there is a will there is a way to remove these luxuries from their lives. I have the will. Michael and I have devised a WAY. Thy will be done. We are totally fine sitting at home all weekend. We never have a DAY OFF. We will make them.
I will not have another weekend of screaming, fighting, rampant chaos. I have done this before. I had a little Helen Keller once too. Me and my kids lived like ‘Lord of the Flies’ when I first got divorced. There was a pig’s head on a stick outside of our apartment until I decided to stop feeling ‘bad’ I got divorced. My little Helen Keller now lives in New York City and eats with a fork.
So this weekend will be the first weekend the gauntlet comes down. There will be hell to pay. And Michael and I can cash that check. Just watch.